butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Randomize
