Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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