I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Dear god my vagina.
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