I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Randomize
