Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
