I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
