tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
