Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize
