Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
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