I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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