a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Randomize
