I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Randomize
