I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
They have beer where we have blood.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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