When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Randomize
