All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
