oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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