My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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