I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize
