last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
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