a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize
