I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
