Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
FUCK WHALES
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