I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
