Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Randomize
