We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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