There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
