I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
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