butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
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