11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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