I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I need to sanitize my soul.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Randomize
