Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Randomize
