I hate your face
dude i'm inner monologue high
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize
