loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Randomize
