One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Randomize
