went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
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