Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Randomize
