I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
