i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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