i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Randomize
