Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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