PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Randomize
