would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
