she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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