I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
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