i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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