I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
