I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
My vagina just recognized that song.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
