if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Randomize
