i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Randomize
