i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
