i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I am one with the molecules
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
We need to get me chipped asap
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
