why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
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