If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Randomize
