btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
